Fakin' It: adoption

If you have been following my blog, you have probably noticed that my daughter L does not look much like her brothers. That's because we adopted her from China when she was one. Around L's second birthday, we found out she was hard of hearing and later found out the cause. Bilateral LVAS or EVA- Large Vestibular Aqueduct Syndrome. Genetic testing showed that she also has Pendreds which is associated with hearing loss and thyroid issues. At the time L was only showing a loss in her right ear which we then aided. Most people with Bilateral EVA go completely deaf at some point in their lives and it often occurs very suddenly. Hearing can also fluctuate which is hard to track in a youngster.

About three weeks ago L woke up and could not hear us without her hearing aid which told me she lost hearing in her left ear. We went to our awesome audiologist who squeezed us in right away and it was true. Over night she had lost 100% of her hearing in her left ear. When tested again the following week she had had some slight spontaneous recovery but that did not last. Then last week, she lost 100% of her hearing in her right ear. My daughter went from functioning normally to being completely deaf in 2 1/2 weeks. Aids no longer work because there is no sound to amplify. How do you explain this to a 5 year old who can no longer hear you. We had been practicing sign since we got the diagnosis but not seriously. I also discovered that L can read lips a little bit. Each day is a challenge and we are now on the path to cochlear implants. I will be journaling our journey from here on out. Please join me but don't judge me. No decisions we have made or will make are done so lightly.

Do not be afraid, for I am with you; I will bring your children from the east and gather you from the west.

Isaiah 43:5

The Saturday before Mother's Day is Birth Mother's Day. I thought I would take this opportunity to share a little of our adoption story and then a craft.

We have two beautiful healthy little boys that survived two complicated and miserable pregnancies. After the second was born, the doctor suggested, and I wholeheartedly agreed, not to have more. When my youngest was three months and I was putting away his 0-3 months clothes, I was overcome with grief that no more little ones would be wiggling around in those cute puppy dog onsies.

I went to my husband, who always wanted a big family, and shared my desire to continue to grow our family. I think it only took about 5 minutes for us to decide that we wanted to adopt. It was so strange. Adoption was not anything we had ever discussed before, it just immediately felt right. I am sure it was Divine intervention.

It took us a little longer to decide where we wanted to adopt from. Again, I think God lead us to our final destination, China. Now let me fast forward 2 1/2 years to the referral. When we received L's picture, the feeling was overwhelming. I felt like I knew her, recognized her, like her image had already been ingrained in my heart. I knew immediately that she was MY daughter and my heart swelled with pride and love.

Three months later, our precious child, was in our arms. L now 4 1/2 tells me that she cried in the orphanage because she wanted her "forever mommy" but that she cried when she first met me because she didn't know yet, it was me.

We discuss L's unknown birth mother, "China Mommy" regularly. L asks where she is or what she is doing or when she can see her again. We pray for her and all the orphans in China nightly. L knows that she is extra lucky and extra special because she has two mommies and that it was God's plan for her to be born in China to touch others' lives there before coming home to her forever family in the United States.

I am so thankful for my family, for my three amazing children and my wonderful husband and I am thankful to L's China Mommy for giving her life in a country where abortion and infanticide is so prevalent.

And so, to celebrate Birth Mother's Day this year we made a necklace keepsake.

I have no idea how I accumulated so many puffy paints and I haven't used these in years but they work well for little hands. We used the squirt and stir method. L squirted different colors on the pasta and then stirred with the skewer. Our mixing plate is a lone lid to an old cookie tin.

It took a couple of hours for the beads to air dry on the parchment paper. Many stuck together but broke apart easily when it was time to bead them.

Here is the finished product. We used rainbow hemp thread to string the beads. In between the two big blue beads are 9 pasta beads for each month L's China Mommy carried her in her tummy. Each additional pasta bead represents every month they have been apart (4yrs 9mos). We divided the years with more plastic beads. And the angel represents God watching over all of us, L and both her mommies.

When we were done L put on the necklace and said "Mommy, I know this is very very special and I will not lose it." What a sweetheart my darling baby girl is!